My heart was beating out of my chest and I felt like I was going to vomit.

And we had only just finished warming up!

Questions started swirling in my mind… 

“Could I keep up with the team?” 

“Don’t you think you could just sit this one out?” 

“Wouldn’t it be easier for you to jump in on a session that didn’t have conditioning?”

And then a final statement. “You will not keep up!”

I was running a conditioning session for my team, the Souths Logan Magpies, and thought I should participate, too. But after I struggled to make it through the warm up, I told the team to stretch; and it wasn’t because they hadn’t stretched yet, but more so that I could catch my breath. I think some of the boys knew that I was blowing (puffed). 

I got my breath back a little, and started explaining to them what we had planned for that night’s session. My heart was still beating a million miles an hour.

We all lined up on the try line. I set my watch and away we went. The session was a sprint session, with minimal recovery (something I haven’t done in over 5 months due to a shoulder reconstruction). 

I got to the half way point and stopped.

I felt guilty, ashamed and I knew I’d let myself down.

I used to be one of the fittest in the club; now I’m not even finishing the session.

I felt like a failure.

However, looking back on it now, I know that it won’t take to long to get my fitness back.

It had been 5 months since I had performed intense cardio, as I had a shoulder reconstruction in January. So looking back, I’m very happy that I was able to get through as much as I did.

And of course, it’s natural for us as human beings to judge ourselves compared to where we have been in the past, as the mind always likes to see progress. And if we go backwards as we sometimes will, it’s important to remember that going backwards is sometimes progressing also. 

The rest and recovery I’ve given my body, especially my shoulder, over the last 5 months has allowed my shoulder to heal and come back stronger than it was before. I had to go backwards to allow myself to move forwards.

Going through this experience has made me realise that it doesn’t matter if I’m not as fit as everyone else in the team. The important thing is that I am working on myself to improve my body and my life.

Being fitter than anybody else doesn’t make me a better person; bettering my self every day does.      


If you’d like to look better, feel better and function better, our MP Challenge is starting in a matter of weeks! We have limited spots available, so register your interest now!