It’s begun
It’s been nearly 10 months since I did a session with the boys.
This week was our first full week of preseason training… And I’ve felt it!
I thought that a shoulder reconstruction would be pretty straight forward, but I was wrong. The operation was a success and the shoulder is stronger than ever, however it’s all of the other things that go with any operation that is the biggest challenge… (You can read about my road to recovery here).
My first challenge
This week started with some skin folds and a weigh in.
My playing weight was generally around about 95-98kg, but I’m now up around 105kg.
It’s not that I really care about weighing more. It’s the fact that in a game that’s all about speed and agility (rugby league), I FEEL heavier and I know that I can’t move as fast or as well as what I had previously been able to.
It’s the fact that I need to change my expectations of what I can do just now.
It’s the reality that I’ve had 10 months away from the game and it will take a bit for my body to readjust to the training.
It’s being patient in myself and looking after myself.
That’s the hard work I have to do – I don’t really care about weighing 95kg or 105kg! As long as I’m doing everything I can to be the best I can be, that’s ok.
Just show up
The hardest part about working out and pushing towards a goal is the mental side of things.
I often tell my clients that the toughest aspect of working out is getting started; it’s making it to the session. Once you’re there, surrounded by your mates and your trainer, it becomes a bit easier.
When people first start training with me, the first few sessions are always the most challenging. If they weren’t doing much exercise before, being active once again can have a huge impact on their body.
I’ve experienced this first-hand, just this week.
My body responded to my new training program by giving me a fever, sore throat and congested nose! So while this is a particularly dramatic response to exercise, it’s one that’s happened as a result of going from a few weights sessions per week to 4 x intense weight and cardio workouts, some lasting 2 hours. It was just too much.
So physically, I obviously need to adjust, and I know I can’t do that without staying on top of my mental state.
I know that I’ll improve. I just have to show up and do the work.
I mean, what’s the alternative?
If I don’t show up, I’ll never know what my body is capable of. Forget about me weighing more or not being able to run as fast as I used to be – that would be the biggest disappointment of all.
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Starting can be the hardest thing to do, but not if you’re surrounded by the most positive and encouraging group of people there is! If you’ve been wanting to start something to help you achieve your fitness goals, then now is the perfect time to give it a go! Try our ICE Sessions for a week for FREE – I’m not saying it’ll be easy, but I promise you it will be worth it. Get started today!
The moment of realisation
All my adult life, I’ve been playing some sort of sport (mostly rugby league).
In every game, there needs to be one winner and one loser…
Or so I thought…
One of my most inspirational coaches told me once that the only person you have to be better than is the person you were yesterday. And if you gave it your very best effort on the field, that was good enough.
Think about that for a moment…
If you are giving your VERY best effort there is nothing else you can do. Some days you’ll walk off the field a winner and sometimes the opposition will win.
I take a lot of lessons out of my sporting life and this is one that I must keep working on.
I’ve taken this same philosophy and applied it to raising our daughter. If I am a better Dad than I was yesterday, then that is the best I can do.
The moment of realisation.
The moment came when I was holding Isabella and all of a sudden I received a slap in the face! My first thought was to slap her back (softly of course), however if you’ve read previous blogs about my upbringing, I know that this isn’t the answer.
So I stopped and put her down and knew straight away that I needed to learn about the reasons that she was doing this. And I knew exactly the book I had to read, as I had read parts of it before:
So what have I learnt so far?
Well, we have many different aspects of the brain. And for Isabella and children her age (18months), they mostly only know how to use one side of the brain (the right side), which is responsible for emotions, story telling and meaning. The left is for logic, language, lists and letter of the law, which Isabella is trying hard to get. Helping her to connect both sides of the brain is important as it’ll help her to put meaning and logic to her emotions.
So me bettering myself is not only of benefit to me, but it is also helping my wife, my daughter and now you.
I know we must have something in common as you’ve read this far, and my bet is you want to better yourself, too!
That’s why I’d like to invite you to register for my Fat Loss E-Course. It’s free and it’s full of great info that you can implement straight away to help you create a body you can be proud of.
No I in team!
Have you ever been in the middle of a workout by yourself, and thought, “I don’t think I can do anymore?”
You feel like you can’t go on and the motivation to continue has completely vanished.
Your lungs are on fire, your legs are burning and you just want to quit. Now!
You battle with your own voice in your head and you struggle to overcome the one that says it’s ok to stop.
“No-one will know if I quit now, right?”
Conversely, have you ever been doing a workout with your friends and had the same experience?
You’re working bloody hard, but the thought of giving up doesn’t even cross your mind because you’re too focused on what’s happening around you.
You don’t experience the same destructive self talk in your head because you’re surrounded by your friends, who are cheering you on.
You complete the workout and get to give your friends high 5s and hugs and congratulations for a job well done – and you receive the same love back.
I don’t know about you, but I know how I prefer to train!
I reckon it’s my footy background – I just love the energy and the feeling you get when you’re in a room full of people, all training the same way and working towards a common goal, while also nurturing your own individual dreams.
That same love of team work has spilled over into the way I run my business and the way I work on my business.
I don’t do 1 on 1 training anymore, because I see the value of what the group can bring. The enthusiasm, the support, the real friendships that are made – that’s what it’s all about!
I don’t enjoy sitting in my office by myself in the studio. I’d much prefer to be upstairs in my home with my girls – even if it is in the next room. I’m just a lot more productive when I know I have my family nearby.
That’s the way I am and the way I will always be. And I know there are other people out there who are just like me.
I understand how challenging it can be to find the time to workout, let alone find a place that has times that suit you and your needs. And most importantly a team that supports you.
We believe in making our training programs fun, motivating and encouraging – it’s so important to feel comfortable and “at home” when you workout so you can focus fully on getting the most from the session.
If you’d like more info, or you know someone who’d be interested, click here and I will send you a FREE 7 Day pass.
Strong & Hard
It was the 8th of March around 8am and my wife received the phone call.
A call from her dads’ partner.
As I was laying in bed still half asleep, Rachael was given the instruction to sit down.
He had some news he needed to share with her.
I can still remember her screams and as I write this, I can still feel my wife’s heart shattering.
I jumped up out of bed to comfort her. I didn’t know what had happened but I knew it wasn’t good.
When Rachael got off the phone she told me. Her father had taken his own life in the early hours of that morning.
My heart sank and I immediately started to feel ill and a very empty feeling came across me.
I didn’t know what to say or what to do so I just held Rachael. In fact, I still have these same feelings today and there are no words I can say that will take away what’s happened.
In the past 5 years I’ve lost 3 mates to suicide. And now my father in law.
Why are we losing so many men in this way?
I’ve asked that question over and over throughout the last few months, and I can see what I think contributes, at least some of the way, to this tragedy.
As men, we are told to be strong and hard. And that feeling your emotions are a sign of weakness. And don’t you dare show them, as other men will think you’re “weak”.
Just look at the ads on tv – to be a “man” you have to be “hard.” Tough, physical, aggressive, overly masculine, etc etc.
You’re the provider and the fixer and you’re meant to have all the answers.
Sure, there are some men who epitomise this and that’s great!
But I think we need to take a serious look at how we are portraying what it is to be a man.
Where to from here…
Although nothing can be done to bring Rachael’s dad back, we’re committed to ensuring that other families don’t have to endure what we experienced, and that no other person reaches the point where taking their own life is the only option.
Rachael and I got help after our tragic loss this year, and we felt so much better for it.
Beyond professional help, our family and friends have been incredibly supportive, too.
It can be hard to see it in the moment, but there is always help available.
So to the guys out there, I know it’s hard to break through the ideal that we should be tough all the time. I know I’ve felt the pressure as the provider of my family to stay strong, at whatever cost.
But when that cost is your own health and happiness? Your life is worth so much more than the pressure society puts on you.
If you or anyone you know is experiencing challenges, you can contact Beyond Blue on 1300 224 636 or Lifeline on 13 11 14.
Why I needed to forgive my parents
It’s my earliest memory.
I was sitting at the dining room table, mum had just cooked up dinner.
As we all sat down to eat, a little bit of an argument broke out between mum and dad, and it wasn’t a good feeling.
Although I was young, I knew enough to realise when something wasn’t going well, and well, things were not going well!
As their voices got louder and louder and as the emotions and tension began to increase, all I saw was a plate full of food go flying across the room.
And it was on!
I can’t recall what happened after this, however this was the first of many not so pleasant memories of my childhood.
Not long after this, mum and dad split up, which looking back, was painful for me (and them) at the time, but the best thing for both of them to do.
It was quite an emotional time for all of us. I can’t begin to imagine the pain they were both in.
I truly believe that it was around this time that I learnt how to deal with my emotions. I witnessed my parents turn to substances to deal with the emotions they were feeling.
And as you can imagine, monkey see monkey do.
They tried to save us
It’s easy to look at this situation and say that my parents were not good people or they didn’t love their kids.
This just isn’t the case. In fact, both of my parents have amazing unconditional love for both my sister and I.
It wasn’t until I spoke of my upbringing to a mentor of mine, who told me the emotionally uncertain environment that I grew up in was probably the exact same thing that my parents experienced in their childhood, and so they were only doing what was taught to them.
So I asked both mum and dad what their upbringing was like and it was very similar, if not the same, as mine. They simply carried out what they thought was normal behaviour, based on what they’d experienced themselves.
Breaking the cycle
While my childhood made me the person I am today, I’m determined to break the cycle of substance abuse and physical abuse in my family.
I’ve forgiven my parents and I now understand they were doing what they thought was right for themselves and the family.
I can’t even begin to imagine what it was like growing up when they did. There was so much war, hatred, poverty and recessions (as my dad always reminds me). The world was an uncertain place.
My parents were simply doing the best they could with what they had.
And now it’s my turn to do the same thing for my family.
We all have different experiences growing up that shape who we are today, and it really is upto us whether we let the not-so-great experiences consume us or teach us valuable lessons.
I’m sure there have been many times in my life where I’ve used my childhood as a reason to not achieve something. I let it hold me back, rather than pushing me to be better. But not anymore.
Now it’s your turn.
What experiences from your childhood had the greatest impact on you?
How have they affected who you are today?
And what can you focus on moving forward to make the most of your life experience?
How a 5 Day Bender Saved My Life
My addiction to drugs started at the young age of 12.
This is a crucial age because this is where you start to form an identity for who you are. And at that age my family were into drugs and alcohol, so I thought it was ‘normal’. (You can read more of my story here)
It’s coming up to the 10 year anniversary of my conscious decision to move away from my family and friends on the Gold Coast. Although I had grown up on the coast and really loved all things about it – the surf, the friendships, my family, my footy club and the laid back lifestyle – there was one aspect that I didn’t love, and that was the drug culture.
The bender
It was October in 2005 and if you’re familiar with the Gold Coast, it was Indy time (which meant for me time to take drugs and alcohol).
So I was on a 5 day bender, I hadn’t slept for 4 nights and I was high (mainly from ecstasy). And after taking drugs consistently for 5 days, I knew coming down would be hard.
Pre-empting the come down, I had bought an ounce of weed for me and my mates. After smoking all of that weed in a couple of sittings, I still couldn’t come down.
I felt like I was losing my mind.
I lay in bed looking at the ceiling, wondering if I was going to survive the night, let alone be able to work the next day.
Enough is enough
This was one of the first times I realised that I couldn’t shake the drugs. I knew I was heavily addicted, I just didn’t want to admit it. The drugs controlled me and consumed me.
This was a massive turning point in my addiction recovery: I had hit rock bottom.
Have you ever heard the quote, “If you’re in a hole, stop digging?” Well, for me I had dug a pretty deep hole and it was time to stop digging.
It was either stop taking drugs on my own or go to rehab.
For me, my “rehab” was to put all of my attention in to one thing, and that was football.
It was only weeks after this breakthrough that an opportunity appeared. I signed a contract with East Tigers, a rugby league club in Brisbane, who also had connections with the Brisbane Broncos.
A difficult choice
Moving away from the coast was the best thing for me to do, but at the same time it was very hard, as all of my friends and family were there.
However, I had to choose – could I stay in the environment that exposed me to drugs and alcohol on a regular basis or should I save my life?
So as much as I didn’t want to leave, there was no way I could stay.
We are all faced with choices in our lives, some more challenging than others.
But big or small, as long as we know what we really want and why we want it, the decision becomes easy.
What’s 1 choice that you can make today that will help to move you towards a better you tomorrow?
I’m so fortunate that, not only was I able to change my own life, but I now get to transform the lives of other people everyday. My next 12 week Transformation Challenge is kicking off next month and I only have 7 spots left. So, if you’d like the opportunity to work with me and a group of amazing people on a similar journey, please join us!
I felt guilty, ashamed and I knew I’d let myself down…
My heart was beating out of my chest and I felt like I was going to vomit.
And we had only just finished warming up!
Questions started swirling in my mind…
“Could I keep up with the team?”
“Don’t you think you could just sit this one out?”
“Wouldn’t it be easier for you to jump in on a session that didn’t have conditioning?”
And then a final statement. “You will not keep up!”
I was running a conditioning session for my team, the Souths Logan Magpies, and thought I should participate, too. But after I struggled to make it through the warm up, I told the team to stretch; and it wasn’t because they hadn’t stretched yet, but more so that I could catch my breath. I think some of the boys knew that I was blowing (puffed).
I got my breath back a little, and started explaining to them what we had planned for that night’s session. My heart was still beating a million miles an hour.
We all lined up on the try line. I set my watch and away we went. The session was a sprint session, with minimal recovery (something I haven’t done in over 5 months due to a shoulder reconstruction).
I got to the half way point and stopped.
I felt guilty, ashamed and I knew I’d let myself down.
I used to be one of the fittest in the club; now I’m not even finishing the session.
I felt like a failure.
However, looking back on it now, I know that it won’t take to long to get my fitness back.
It had been 5 months since I had performed intense cardio, as I had a shoulder reconstruction in January. So looking back, I’m very happy that I was able to get through as much as I did.
And of course, it’s natural for us as human beings to judge ourselves compared to where we have been in the past, as the mind always likes to see progress. And if we go backwards as we sometimes will, it’s important to remember that going backwards is sometimes progressing also.
The rest and recovery I’ve given my body, especially my shoulder, over the last 5 months has allowed my shoulder to heal and come back stronger than it was before. I had to go backwards to allow myself to move forwards.
Going through this experience has made me realise that it doesn’t matter if I’m not as fit as everyone else in the team. The important thing is that I am working on myself to improve my body and my life.
Being fitter than anybody else doesn’t make me a better person; bettering my self every day does.
If you’d like to look better, feel better and function better, our MP Challenge is starting in a matter of weeks! We have limited spots available, so register your interest now!
When surgery is the easy part!
In January this year, I had a shoulder reconstruction after dislocating my right shoulder during a footy training session.
The surgery part of it is quite easy. You go into hospital, get put under anaesthetic and you wake up and basically have a new shoulder.
It’s the next 6-9 months of rehabilitation that’s the hard bit. It’s not only physically challenging, but also incredibly mentally tough, too.
To go from being at an elite level of fitness and strength to not being able to move your right arm for 6 weeks is a huge mental struggle. Or it was for me anyway!
The blessing in all of this is that I feel like I can relate a lot to my clients, who are going through their own physical rehabilitation/transformation experience. To get it right, takes time. Sometimes you can’t see the results straight away, even with all the hard work you put in. Some days you have to work extra hard to stay motivated to do the things you need to do to get you the end result. You have to remember why you want to get to your goal so badly, especially on the days where you feel like you’re never going to get to get there.
It can be frustrating, rewarding, exciting and scary all at once! And that right there, is transformation.
My initial challenge
In the first 6 weeks post operation, I was on a lot of medication, not only for pain but for inflammation. This is a massive hurdle for me, given my past addiction. (You can read more about that here).
Also, as I injured my right arm, I wasn’t able to write properly. I had to learn to use a fork with my left hand and I couldn’t prepare my meals, wash up, or basically do anything useful for 6 whole weeks.
Throw on top of that, the fact that I wasn’t able to exercise at all, and that initial period post-op was one of the biggest mental hurdles I’ve faced.
But I got through it.
I have really supportive family, friends, teammates and clients. They made my days brighter! Surround yourself with positive people and they really can make a difference in your life.
Slow progress
Due to the type of dislocation I had (SLAP tear), as well as being in a sling for 6 weeks, my range of motion was lacking. I couldn’t really lift my arm at all, as all the strength from it was gone. To get to the point where I can lift my arm over my head has been a really slow process, and there are days where I didn’t feel as though I was getting anywhere at all.
I’ve constantly measured my range of motion and it’s only now when I actually stop and compare where I started from I realise just how far I’ve come!
So remember, even though there will be days where you feel like you aren’t progressing, just stop and look back at some old photos or think back to how you used to be – I’m sure you’ll realise that all the little disciplines you’ve put into place are absolutely paying off.
(And that’s why we recommend taking a before photo!)
Priorities
I knew from the outset that I was going to lose a lot of muscle mass, and that’s the way it had to be. I just had to accept that. We all have to make sacrifices sometimes to get what we really want. My priority is to have a strong, stable joint, so the focus of my rehabilitation had to be on that.
Sometimes we get so excited about achieving lots of different things with our new-found energy and enthusiasm, but that can cause us to be so overwhelmed that we focus on nothing and get nowhere.
Choose a goal and put everything you have into achieving that – that’s it!
So many lessons from one split-second injury back in January.
But would I change it? No way!
It’s always our biggest challenges that bring us the greatest rewards.
Want to work with me? Why not give our ICE Sessions a go! Get 7 days of training for free and experience our amazing community, fun games (also known as workouts) and lots of laughs. Learn more here!